yesteryear, part 3

yes, i'm late to the party. survivors of abuse have been spilling their stories on forums and blogs for many years now. with the advent of the world wide web, abusers will never again have quite the security and anonymity they once enjoyed. bloggers and on-line news outlets have spread more information on abusers in the last twenty years than was possible in the rest of history. in spite of what preachers and other christian leaders are saying, that is a great thing. please excuse me for using such light-hearted banter for such a deep, dark topic, but i am late. late in becoming aware of what was happening in my own religious circles - or, at least, the religious circles i grew up in. i'm still in shock over the things i am learning. the disbelief and revulsion have not abated. my anger has not subsided. and my determination to do my little part in exposing this horror and these monsters has not waned. but the truth is, these revelations are so soul-shattering that sometimes i've had to walk away. the things i've read have at times put me in such a dark place that it's affected how i've interacted with my husband and children. i've known this, even while i was doing it. i needed time and God to bring me back. what sunk in during this struggle was the fact that the abused can't walk away. they live with the emotional scars, the pain, the dissociation, the flashbacks, the depression. even with God's healing, abuse will always be part of them. i don't know of much that is worse than the abuse of a child - whether it be sexual, emotional or physical. but right up there with it is the support given by pastors and churches to an abuser, instead of his victim. what kind of person turns their back on a child who has been raped and sits behind that child's rapist in a courtroom to show support for that rapist? do you really believe that is what Jesus would have you do?

Comments

[Rebecca]

Sally, you've so beautifully expressed my own feelings here. When BJU fired GRACE on February 6, 2014, I began writing letters and posting comments supportive of the abused around Facebook, trying to help people think Biblically and logically, devoting up to ten hours a day to the computer screen for those few days. I wanted to stop and rest, to get away from it, but I kept thinking, "The ones who were abused can't get away from it." I have lain awake with many sleepless nights, crying out to God. The problem of evil isn't "out there somewhere." It is right here in front of us.